I'm feeling tired with those insomnias, headaches and emotional feelings lately. I switched off both of my phones last night, so that no-one can reach me for the moment. Insecure, hates, disappoints, sad, it come all at one time.
I called someone, with speaker on and left the phone aside for half an hour silence,listened and responded nothing with his every single replies until he hanged off. He never knows, I ain't happy, not to him, but myself. I wanted to talk to, but I do not know how, so I remain silence.
Insomnia started haunting me again since last Monday, and it tortures every single seconds that I still awake. It has been a while since my last insomnia, which lasted for one month, a year back. My eyes are heavy, and I just can't get myself into sleep. I want to stop thinking, but my mind stops me from doing so. It sucks.
I do not want something to come, yet it is closer day by day. I do not want to feel bad one more time, I am not strong enough to overcome all these things again and again. I wanted to go up hill, because I know it can calms me for a little while, to face what I suppose to, not for fun.
Perhaps, I am someone who has no worries in your eyes. You never know, what I feel in this moment, what will happen the next moment. Insecure kills, it do. The laughters that you hear, the smiles that you see, aren't real.
